My name is Melissa and I'm here writing a blog after about two years of not writing. I've been busy teaching, raising children, and assimilating to the 'single mom' lifestyle!
I'm much more settled now in my after-effects of my divorce. It 'seems' to be settled and our separate lives seem to be going along as well as it can. What is hilarious is his off and on relationship with Penny. I only worry about how my kids adjust to the ups and downs of THAT. But I can tell you with total conviction...I'm very glad that I'm not in her place at this point. She was ME 10 years ago, always wondering if I was good enough and how I could be the perfect girlfriend/wife/mom. Well, no more. :)
My children are doing rather well in school, which is a total change from last year--yay! Chad has started Kindergarten, Shawn's in third grade and Sam is in middle school in sixth grade. WOW. I am beginning to feel a bit OLD here with a child in middle school! All of them had a great fall sports season with football and cheerleading. Shawn will be beginning basketball here pretty soon.
As for me? I'm still teaching first grade and having an EASY class for once! I wish I was still on summer vacation (haha!) but I'm having a good year, despite there being a new principal to get used to and the shadow of declining enrollment hovering over our school. I enjoy where I work for the most part. Some of the teachers are being a bit facetious; there are the Testy Three who for some odd reason, spazzed out with the possible merger last year and were united against myself, Mary and Suzanne. I have NO idea what I did to make them so upset with me. I'm just here to do my job...teach children and spread the news of God.
Personal stuff? I'm having a GREAT time getting my social life back again this past year of 2009!!!!! I haven't had this many friends to go out with and talk with since WAY back in 1993! I'm having a great time talking, just TALKING, on Facebook with them. I've been starved for adult conversation for years. Also, just to be able to go out with people I have stuff in common with--mainly the fact that they're single moms as well--is so uplifting and freeing. I can definitely see how much I've grown to like myself once again and to be confident in who I am as a mother and a friend.
Unfortunately, there are always naysayers. I enjoy going out for a beer or two with friends, and perhaps some dancing. I love going to music concerts, especially 80's retro cover bands! Or perhaps I enjoy being at home alone reading a book or watching a movie. I love walking in the woods contemplating God's creation. My kids and I have a great time going to hockey games, to their own games, and seeing concerts in the parks, and enjoying the beach.
But there are people (namely, my sister/husband and my brother's wife) who are married and don't understand why I just don't stay home with my children every hour. Actually, my children are with me each evening, M-F and each morning as well. They are with me as much as their children are with them. (Except I HAVE to work...I don't get to stay home with them). The only difference is that I have two weekends to myself, since they visit their dad.
Now all married couples have date nites. A lot of married couples I know go out each Friday. Nothing wrong with THAT, right? I think it's healthy to get away from your children once a week to maintain who I am as a person. That is the best way I can be a mom to my kids. A happy mom means happy children LOL. My sister and her husband do not understand why I need to go out once in a while during the week. Honestly, my kids will remember who I am, and again, honestly, I'm sure they will not be sitting on therapy couches telling their therapist, "My life is a total mess. I think it all started when my mother would go out on Thursdays. My life totally fell apart because she wasn't always with us." And when I say going OUT, I mean meeting up with friends for a hockey game, or perhaps a folk music concert, or EGADS, a date??
Like I'm not ever supposed to date anymore? Oh, like my sister and her husband say, well just go out on dates when Joe has the kids. Or just go to your hockey games/concerts/coffee with friends when Joe has the kids. Ummm....well. Life just isn't that black and white!!! So I'm only allowed out of the house twice a month? Who made that a rule? PLUS......I don't HAVE a spouse that I can leave my kids with at nite if I want to go shopping for groceries. I dont' HAVE a spouse to leave the kids with if I need to get gas for the car. I don't GET to go work out since I always have my kids. I don't GET to go to Bible Studies/Girl Group/(whatever you want to insert here) since I always have my kids. Now I'm not complaining, I LOVE my children to death...BUT........I deserve some time to myself since I don't have HELP. I should not be made to feel guilty for this. I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for wanting to date again.
Look at their dad! He left me (spiritually) for someone else! I didn't leave HIM first. I physically left him, because I couldn't take it anymore. I was too hurt and the bridges were burned. Now I wasn't the perfect wife....there are many issues I have too. BUT. I should not be made to feel guilty for dating. And I'm not going to church to meet a guy to date. I think that's asinine. Sorry Jon, it's not going to happen. As long as I dont' bring the kids into the picture, that's all good.
Okay, done venting. Haha! Now if only the Red Wings would begin to play well, then the winter season would be a good one!!!!
Have a grrreat day! More to come later...
